I’ve never been diagnosed with anxiety or anything but if anyone knows how to research, it’s me! I’m a student for a living. I smoked weed starting age 13. I started having panic attacks at 19 while in junior college. I remember a really bad one while in speech class. Public speaking made me so nervous and gave me the worst anxiety. I still smoked weed after realizing I was having bad anxiety and panic attacks. I realized after a while, mj was just a temporary fix to my anxiety and probably made me deal with it worst. When I quit smoking I had the worst anxiety and withdrawal symptoms but I was focused on not being dependent on anything other than myself. I practiced yoga for two years straight. It helped me with my anxiety and to kick my habit. Back in junior college I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea (IBS). Let’s talk about worst pain of my life and for a long time doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I went on a research journey, changed my entire diet, started yoga, and kicked IBS myself. It took two years but I did it. I cut out caffeine, alcohol, fast foods, beef, pork, sweets, and dairy. I didn’t realize until long after that IBS was a symptom of anxiety. I lost so much weight, I hated it. I was under so much stress with school and being there for my family. I lost my car and had to take the bus and walk everywhere, which didn’t help with my weight loss.
When I was younger I had to fight a lot because girls always picked on me. I always stood my ground, win or lose. Until one day this girl tried to run me over with her car over a guy, and from a day after that, I changed my entire life. I changed my group of friends and the guy I was with since I was 16. From that moment forward, I was on a journey to accomplish my goals by any means necessary. A day after my 21st birthday I stopped smoking weed completely. From there, I started to gain my weight back and stopped doing yoga so much. I also started slowly adding things back to my diet that I enjoyed.
Dealing with change has always been a struggle of mine. Right after I turned 22 I had to move to Maryland from Chicago for family reasons. That was a big adjustment for me and I’m still adjusting. I had really changed my life around after the near death situation happened to me and I never fought anyone again. So it’s not hard to believe the struggle I went through having to fight my brother’s wife because of her provoking me. Even the moments that led up to that with all my family drama was very taxing on me. I’m sure I went through major depression being so many miles away from what I was used to have no one here at all that I could call a friend. I also bought a guy here who I thought I would be with but he left after six months. He was so unemotional and unsupportive of me. But there I was dealing with anxiety and depression and he just didn’t know how to deal with it, on top of my family drama. I don’t blame him. I know I’m difficult to deal with and didn’t realize how much my family was costing me. Then I met This wonderful guy, he was always there for me even as a friend from the moment I met him. There was something about him that made me love him from the moment we became friends. He helps me a lot with my anxiety he is very supportive of me in every way. But if I didn’t learn anything in all of my 25 years, it was never depend on anyone to help you feel better. The moment I thought I would have to let him go, my anxiety went through the roof. On top of my family drama, I thought I would lose my mind. At this moment in life, I realize how much I have to be there for myself in all ways and protect my energy at all cost. I’m starting to distant myself from anything that cause me to be stressed or have anxiety. The key to curing anxiety is finding and avoiding your triggers, not temporary fixes.
I’m still in school; almost done with my masters. It’s so tough and doesn’t help with my anxiety. I blog and write down my thoughts everyday almost. Leisurely writing and giving advice to others really helps me to feel better. Everyone views me as so positive and a lot of people look up to me. I bet it would be hard for those people to believe I struggle everyday with my mental health. It is said that the people who need help the most, don’t know how to help themselves and find themselves helping everyone else. Helping others helps me. I hope this story has helped someone.
Recently I got advice to go on a fear-kicking journey where you do things that helps you conquer your fears, face those things you’re afraid, and use your anxiety for good. Anxiety is a normal feeling for everyone to have and can he used strategically for better. It’s important for us to keep it under control. No matter what remember, the power lies within you.
Be comfortable with yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t judge yourself based on what you’re going through. You’re greater than your struggle with mental health. Your life is a beautiful thing.