Instead, I learned it was possible, no matter the conditions, to interrupt the emotion enveloping me and examine the evidence behind my train of thought. Not to immediately transfer my feelings from negative back to positive but to accept them— much like riding a wave by floating on your back. Without fighting the current of life’s challenges, I was able to attune to the reality of my present circumstances. With that presence of mind, I could accept ‘life on life’s terms’ without turning to a mood or mind-altering substance in order to cope.

The glow goddesses of Base Butter, sat down to chat with Sad Girls Club about the balance between entrepreneurship and self-care, finding your co-founder in crime and why sometimes, together is better.

Ev’Yan Whitney, sexuality doula and sex educator, talks healing, taking up space and accessing pleasure through the art of sensuality. She talks about her love for sensual self-portraiture allowed her to find a home within in her body.

Kia Livingston honors taking up space in a world that doesn’t create a space for the woman she desires to be. By owning a label that is looked down upon and letting it be known that it’s okay to love sex is just how she validates herself.

Being single is not normalized and for Debora, she’s never had a boyfriend— ever. Debora opens up about her truth, why she chooses to be single and how being single can often feel like an isolating experience.

Finding your tribe and sustaining long-lasting friendships that evolve into authentic sisterhood is at the core of bettering our mental hygiene. Sad Girls Club caught up with both Litsey and Angie to discuss what true sisterhood means and how togetherness has become the light of creation to their platform.

Here, is a space for us to learn every facet of wellness, contribute our stories and missions and expand on an already fruitful community. So, welcome, to Sad Girls Club. Please make yourself at home.

‘Throughout history, women gathered in sacred sisterhood to weave, nurture, and communicate ways to heal in matriarchal societies…..Today we are going back to the wise woman wisdom we all carry.”

The value I find in these films from my youth come from the comfort they hold in spades. The nostalgia from the past; a familiar fantasy.

Understanding the importance of the black woman’s healing, and the need to “pass the torch”, we rounded-up 9 platforms who we all should be drawing our attention to. 9 platforms who aim to shift the paradigm through the uplifting of women’s voices drawing our attention to stories of — connectedness, wholeness, pleasure and joy.

Instead, I learned it was possible, no matter the conditions, to interrupt the emotion enveloping me and examine the evidence behind my train of thought. Not to immediately transfer my feelings from negative back to positive but to accept them— much like riding a wave by floating on your back. Without fighting the current of life’s challenges, I was able to attune to the reality of my present circumstances. With that presence of mind, I could accept ‘life on life’s terms’ without turning to a mood or mind-altering substance in order to cope.

I wanted to make space so I had room to live my life with clearer intention, laughter, and healing. I wanted daydreams of future wins and perfect haircuts. I wanted a whole me represented not only in my mirror but also in my mind and in my home. I wanted to get to the work of living and creating in such an enthusiastic way that I’d forget the days when I was too afraid to take the first step forward.

Work better, faster, harder, stronger. January is a month filled with new year's resolutions designed to prey on our insecurities. When you’re a woman, the world makes sure you’re well aware of how you measure up (or don’t). In this column, Sad Girls Lens I aim to draw parallels between our blog themes and the intersections of mental health, femme identities, and film. This month’s theme (un)manifest destiny spoke to me and it said, “take a breath.” Sadly, the rest of the world is not likely to be on our sad girl level of enlightenment.

For some fat women, the skinny versions of us dominate our brain space. If we looked like them, we could get any job, enter any relationship, and basically achieve all of our dreams like that. If only we could consistently count our calories and make it to the gym a few times a week, skinny us could emerge.

Experimenting with masturbation—by using your hand or a vibrator—can help you figure out what you like and organically navigate your way to orgasms. And since many people prefer one type of stimulation over the other, it’s important to give your clitoris and your vagina some attention.

For the most part in film and television, love spells don’t work as intended. As VICE writer Colleen Kane point’s out in their article, Love Spells in Pop Culture: A History, “Like alchemy, they're [love spells in pop culture] all pretty much-doomed attempts to artificially create something that is notoriously unyielding to attempts to force it: love.” What comes up most for me when I think about the trope of the love spell gone awry, I think to myself well this was probably written by a man...

Not only was I afraid of being stigmatized as a Black woman with a chemical imbalance that can negatively affect her day-to-day life, but I was also afraid that being honest would scare people off. I thought that anyone outside of my parents or therapist would see me as a liability rather than an asset in their lives.

While I was testing out my new little vibe, I enjoyed trying out different rhythms to find what worked best for me. (I liked how it felt so much that I even ended up switching what I was watching in an attempt to find the perfect companion to my new device.) What I found worked best for me was a lower intensity vibration and varying pulses—which you have complete control over, depending on how hard and when you squeeze it.

Dually, the pressure one feels to have romantic and sexual experiences is almost absent-- before my freshman year, it felt that I was constantly behind everyone else, and the lack of experience-- not to sound like an after school special -- was weird or embarrassing. So it’s relieving to finally be in a place where that can be something that’s explored individually without judgment or expectation.

How many of us have ever taken the time to recognize whether or not we actually want to be in a relationship. You’re probably thinking, “of course I do, I know what I want,” and you may be right, but how well do you actually know what you want? It’s possible that you may just enjoy the idea of a relationship and being #goals on Instagram and reshaping your wants into needs. Here are some signs that this may not be the right time for you to jump into a relationship this Valentine’s Day season.

From #FreeTheNipple to #MeToo, online advocacy has proven it is a force to be reckoned with-- no matter your opinion on hashtag activism, it's undeniable that the reach of social media not only connects people like never before but also passes the megaphone to communities that have never had access to influential public platforms. Right now it’s in part where the newest wave of this generation’s feminism is going down, and sex positivity is a huge part of it. 

I truly hate talking (or writing) about my sex life. That’s because there barely is one. But sometimes when something makes you cringe, it’s worth investigating. And so here I am, telling you all about my somewhat sad relationship with sex, with hopes that maybe this year things will change. 

Ev’Yan Whitney, sexuality doula and sex educator, talks healing, taking up space and accessing pleasure through the art of sensuality. She talks about her love for sensual self-portraiture allowed her to find a home within in her body.

“We have energy centers—these are the chakras,” she explains. “And in terms of sexuality, that’s the root chakra, which is linked to grounding, rooting, having your self-worth, having your deserving issues, being alive, being here,” she explains.

Like with any people born under each sign, we all have a shadow side. For Leos who are operating out of line with their highest good, you may notice a real selfishness and egotism. This is because a low functioning Leo has become out of touch with their hearts. They’ve given up on their dreams, they no longer have a community, and they’ve stopped spreading joy.

So, if you feel like you’ve been going through it this past few weeks you’re not the only one— the full moon in Scorpio is determined to bring your fears to the surface. This is really stressful and isn’t much help while we’re stuck at home with our thoughts and feelings. What comes next? The new moon in Gemini starts a new cycle for all of us.

During our sanctioned time of social distancing, the earth has changed too. Carbon and greenhouse gas emissions are down and the BBC actually reported that there has been a 50% decrease in pollution in New York as we’ve taken measures to slow the virus. While in this forced pause, the earth is cleaning house. Let’s talk about how you can too.

At the precipice of this Great Unknown that we are bearing down, we must understand that this is a tabula rasa -- a blank slate-- for us to craft a new world that feels a lot more like the one we want to live in instead of the one we have been forced to live in. It is our responsibility to ourSelves and to each other to decide what that experience would be like for each of us.

As the sun enters into the sign of Pisces, we are being called to forgive— forgive not only those who have hurt us but ourselves. We have really been calling to embody more compassion since the North Node shifted into Cancer in 2019, but we cannot give others what we do not have ourselves. It stands to reason, then, that in order to find the Kindness, Love, Harmony, Compassion, Joy we have been searching for, we first must give it to Ourselves.

Now that I’m almost three years into a relationship I have learned that fantasy and reality can only overlap so much. I think I’ve experienced much romantic disappointment due to mismanaged expectations. In short, I’ve been thinking a lot about February as the love month and how that definition itself seems mismanaged especially given its origin.

Imagination is a key component in manifesting the reality we want to live in. Many of us know what we don’t want, but we can’t say for sure what we do want. Are we thinking about it? Are we envisioning it? How can we bring it to life if we never give it any? Manifesting the world we want to see requires us being the change we want to see and staying true to that vision regardless of if others disagree.

But it's no secret that by and large, the Black community primarily identifies as Christian. And though that’s not inherently problematic, both the Christian and Black community have tumultuous relationships with black women, often demonizing our very existence as both a black person and a woman. As a result, the fight to take up space in the black church is a strenuous battle against the prejudices that come with our identities.   

There are many things we are called to share this life with others our passion, kind words, laughter, a smile or ears to listen. As we give ourselves the space to heal, rewrite our story and develop a true understanding of who we are within we can offer this to our peers. Thus making the world a more beautiful place to live.